Lloyds TSB, The Worst Bank in the World

Lloyds TSB, The Worst Bank in the World

I’ve had my ups and downs with TSB, mostly due to their internet banking being absolutely ass and randomly not updating my account details for up to a week in any one time.

Anyway, this is the story of where I’ve applied for a house with my Girlfriend, a nice 3 Bedroom semi detached house in a very sought after location in Mansfield, Notts. We get the house and all is good, we decide to get a joint bank account so the bills can all come out of that and so that all the funds can go in and we know jointly where we stand month by month, and then can save accordingly.

We are both Lloyds TSB Account holders, although for some reason I have a Welfare “Cash Account” even though I have £1444 a month deposited in, I have had offers to upgrade but from the past annoyances I was always on about transferring banks to NatWest, who would give me an overdraft.

Anyway my girlfriends heads in to Lloyds TSB on her dinner break and is told by the customer services person, provided we are both account holders we can get a joint account within 5minutes, provided we both come to the bank and bring our cards.

So today, Friday the 24th of August, both my Girlfriend and I book half a days holiday and hit Lloyds TSB to get this joint account so we can sort out bills before moving in to our house on September the 1st.

After entering and being greeted by a lady, we’re told that they are unable to give us a JOINT account due to my account being a welfare “Cash Account”, so I said, “I’ve been harassed by TSB Staff to upgrade my account for ages, upgrade it then”. Her response was fine, and she set about upgrading my account, and turned to me and said, sorry you’re account isn’t eligible to be upgraded.

Apparently a few months ago my when the internet banking was playing up again and Tesco didn’t take the petrol debit out for a few days it caused me to go overdrawn (at the end of the month), which is the reason why they will not upgrade my account?

I’ve been with Lloyds TSB for many many years, I’d never expect any bank to refuse to give me a joint account purely by the type of my current account, nor can I see why I’m being refused an upgrade when it’s already been offered, they give my girlfriend the world and she earns ALOT less than me.

So Lloyds I’d just like to say, I will be moving banks unless I get a telephone call within 24hours confirming that you’ve upgraded my account, and asking us to come in and create a joint account. I now wish I wasn’t lazy and went to NatWest when I was supposed to.

Lloyds TSB, you have to be the worst bank in England (also your interest rate on loans is moronic). And before any smart arse comments about my credit rating, I’ve got a possible £5000 worth of debt I could get myself in to with various other store cards & catalogues, a normal bank account is NOT too much to ask, and some decent customer service should be mandatory.

Contact me via Twitter yeah?, like yesterday.


13 Responses

  1. Alan C says:

    Hi, I found your site while looking on Twitter for Lloyds.
    They are truly the most annoying useless bunch of bastards.
    And I say this as somebody who once worked for part of the company (Black Horse Life). I life in Malaysia now and literally just tried to transfer some money, but yet again they have changed the procedure and I need a special number.
    This number will be sent to my address in England – I have lived in Malaysia for two years!!!!!
    The amount of times I have had my cards stopped while travelling you don’t want to know.
    The sad fact is my bank in Malaysia (RHB) has much better customer service and on-line banking than Lloyds, In two years I have had not one problem, in the same time Lloyds have been a contstant pain in my ass.

  2. Adam says:

    Hi Alan;

    I know what you mean – another awesome typical example I’ve had was they tweeted me a link to post some details and I got a server error.

    The bank is such an epic fail, and their interest rates are nearly double that of NatWest, why? Because they’re robbing bastards!

    The only reason I went in there to get a joint account with them was because it was supposed to be super quick (5min job) and really easy with us both being account holders!

    Shame the most simple things have to be covered in a billion bits of bureaucracy combined with irrelevant checks.

    I can get 24 month contract phones, Catalogues with massive credit limits, rent a house on a 12month contract at £600 a month, but not a normal bank account, its sad.

    I hope you’re enjoying Malaysia, its really nice out there!

    The funniest thing was when I told the lady that I NatWest was going to give me a £500 overdraft and a loan at nearly half TSB’s Loan APR, and why the hell can’t I just get a standard joint bank account – she just smiled and said you better go to NatWest then! Cheeky daft!

  3. THR says:

    Can’t fault Lloyds. Been with them since 1982. Their website is awesomely easy to use and very well designed.

  4. lml says:

    They are pretty crap, I never get into debt but my main gripes are that firstly I can’t draw cash out anywhere apart from lloyds (the nearest one is 4 miles away and i dont drive…) the internet banking is abysmal, the balance on there is never correct so its pretty much good for nothing, phoned them up about this and they made all kinds of excuses, and if i need to contact them i have the choice of either being on hold (at a premium rate) for upwards of 15 minutes, or go and stand in the bank for even longer watching 2 clerks try to serve a line of two dozen people while i can clearly see the rest standing round chatting and laughing, probably talking about shoes or their weekend.

  5. kdp says:

    Their website is pretty easy to use, but only lets you search 3 months of statements at once. Really crap for when, say, you want to find out how much you’ve paid in cash machine charges abroad over the last year… assuming by some miracle you’ve been able to use your bank card abroad.
    My latest gripe is the E-saver I setup with them just over a year ago. The name implies to me it’s an internet controlled account, but at the one year mark, when the interest rate goes back to nowt you have to walk in to a branch to get it sorted out. Or just move the funds electronically to another financial institution…

  6. jit says:

    Lloyds tsb IS THE WORST BANK EVER. They would frustrate you and bang the phone on you. The line manager banged the phone on me this money simply because I was complaining that there are discrepancies in my account.
    I hate Lloyds, i have transferred all my money out, they can go to blazes for all I care.

  7. Martin says:

    Been with Lloyds for 16 years, recently due to the recession my business has suffered and gone slightly into the red a few times, there’s nothing Lloyds like better than to bounce payments and then charge more in charges than the payment itself, for example, they bounced a cheque because it put me 1p overdrawn, then charged me £70 for the priviledge, this was the last straw, I phoned a business manager at birmingham, he was unyielding and unhelpful, after a while i could see the conversation was going nowhere so angry, I hung up, next day I found all my direct debits had been cancelled and I was getting messages from companies who’d been informed of this by Lloyds! I hadn’t been informed!
    I went into my local branch today, drew out all the cash and closed the account, I’m seeing another bank business manager tomorrow so Lloyds can get stuffed, oh and I’ve also started a ppi claim against them! And just as a final up yours to Lloyds, my business is now on the up again and turning a good profit!

  8. A cheque went 1p overdrawn, they bounced the cheque and charged me £70, I called to sort out charges, the guy got stroppy, next day all my direct debits were cancelled by Lloydstsb without notice, I received a letter 2 days later saying they were going to cancel all my direct debits and I should contact them.
    I went to my local branch, drew out the money bar 27p and closed the account (signed the paperwork)
    My daughter’s car insurance was cancelled by Diamond because the Direct debit failed and payment was 2 days late.
    I have a loan with Lloyds, they refuse to accept payment from my new bank via standing order but insist on keeping open my business account and deducting the loan payments from there, I have told them I am happy to pay the loan but not through the account I closed, that account is now in the red due to lloyds taking loan payment ” notice how that doesn’t bounce” no doubt they will add charges! They refuse to accept payment from my new bank, simply because they want to levvy charges should the payment be late.

    When I closed the account it was in credit, the fact that it is now in the red is due to lloyds own decision to be bloody minded and not accept an alternative (reasonable) method of payment, so as far as I’m concerned Lloyds are the nastiest, un helpful, self serving bunch of To**ers in the entire corrupt banking industry,

    I have now started a4 ppi claims against them and involved the banking ombudsman who agrees I have grounds to complain!

  9. Imran says:


  10. Andy Summers says:

    I’m not a Lloyds bank account holder – I’m one of their tenants and live above the bank in Caversham (Reading). I’ve lived here for 7.5 years and had to give up my job at the end of July as the pressure was affecting my health. It wasn’t until the end of September that I was running out of my own funds and so had to apply for housing benefit. Because of this I let them know via their property managers (Touchstone). I paid £400 but it was going to be a while before I received the benefit. They said it was fine as long as they had the balance of the rent (£285) was received by the end of the month.

    On 16th October I let them know that it hadn’t yet been received…and received a notice to vacate the premises by 31st December dated 16th October. Appealing directly to them as well as to their Property Managers had no affect despite the fact that I was again working by the end of October. No-one spoke to me. No-one has tried to explain it. No-one has discussed a better way to allow a perfect tenant to keep some semblance of a hold on things.

    7.5 years and a single short and delayed payment…despite being one of the taxpayers whose money was utilised by the Government on Lloyd’s behalf a couple of years ago.

  11. P. Chris says:

    I totally agree. Lloyds bank treat customers with no respect. My husband authorised his company to wire money in my account for his business transaction as he was out of the country. I had all the evidence but lloyds without even consulting me decided it was fraud and returned the funds and closed my account. I had to find out through a phone call because whilst the local branch were stating that they were putting the transaction through, the so called fraud department decided to close the account. I am demanding for an explanation.

  12. P Chris says:

    Totally agree on them being racist. Worst bank I have ever banked with. Worst experience in my entire banking life….

  13. Mubean says:


    I want to thank you for posting this. It has given me an insight.I was hacked whereby £15,000 was taken by someone remotely hacking me and Lloyds claim they were not “responsible” for it. Because they were unable to recover the money from the other account, they have sided the blame on me. I have almost no choice but to declare bank corruptsy if the financial ombudsman doesnt do anything about it. I am going to name and shame these cunts for what they have done. Their customer service is absolutely disgusting, very rude and unprofessional. I have banks with Tesco and HSBC who treat me very well. If any money comes flying out or anything suspicious, they will phone you physically just to confirm you ARE actually doing this transaction and are OK to put it through. Tesco bank, you need a unique key sent to your mobile everytime you attempt to log in, both are which good measures. I

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